Chris The Redeemer

Here we were at the Olympia Inn
I’m foolish, starved for something
He gives me a taste, a spoonful
But it doesn’t fill me up

“I’m just going to the corner store, I’ll be right back.”
Now my eyes are welling up
“You are so sweet, so kind, so wonderful, I like you.
Can’t you tell?”
I can’t tell
He tries to kiss me and I don’t kiss back

Chris The Redeemer wipes a tear off my cheek
Some reach my lips
And they taste like the boiling sea water
I’m weeping as he is walking out the door
Again
I know I said last time was the last time
But I just wanted one more time

And I keep ending up
Alone in a motel room
Crying in the tub

i’m just not good enough

Culmative gaping nothingĀ 

I don’t say anything
One because that means the end
And it didn’t hurt at first
I felt nothing at all

But you can’t really
Honestly share your body
Have intoxicating moments
And not feel a thing
A good thing
A bad thing
But not nothing
I don’t want your love
I just want a friend
And you’ll take that from me
If I say anything

This was a good one
Probably the best
He massaged my mind
He made me squirm
And drip
Reminded me of my favorite things
He smelled like cantaloupe rinds

I will end my streak with this one
I will go back to my garden and
Daydream
And hope I don’t run into you at the grocery store
On the street
On a mountain or at a lake somewhere
I’m lying about that

It wasn’t supposed to be this way
Actually it was

Asleep in the sun

How lucky am I
To fall asleep in the sun for half of an hour
My skin is kissed by the sunshine
And I forget everything
I play my favorite song
“Little Bird”
It is so sweet
That I forget the sour things

I woke up confused
The first thing I thought was
Where is my dog?
Did he run away?
Did I let his leash go?
I panic
Then I see him in the window
Sleeping in the sun, too

Everything is right

Manic

Here I am again

I am running , I am climbing, I am laughing now

My speech is fast and my brain is going one million miles a minute

My fingers, too.

Nothing hurts

I knew she was here when I woke up at 3:00 am out of the blue after 2 hours of rest

and never went back to sleep

I knew she was here when I took a 5 minute shower

I knew she was here when I was smiling in the morning

nothing hurts right now

My chest aches

Something in my chest aches
It’s not a heart attack

It’s like your hands are grasping each of my lungs
You squeeze and look me in the eye
I lose my breath
Squeeze a little harder and I start to go blind
That is what it’s like now

You weren’t supposed to make me feel this way
To yearn for your company
I think thats the worse

Yes, I want your hands and lips, too. For you to push into me as I throw my head back in delight
In the woods on a hill
The sky was bright

I’m becoming whiny and it’s loud in my head
I want it to stop
Don’t be sweet, please
Just leave me behind<

It's gonna make me cry

They all leave

You can tell alot about a person by the way they leave you.

In a hotel room
I’m sitting at the window
Waiting waiting
I can see the sun as I rest my chin on my hand, leaning on the window sill
but I feel the winter’s cold through the glass
As I change out of my nicest dress when I realize you’re not coming back
Yeah I shed a tear or two
I go and get a tattoo the same day
But, the needle doesn’t hurt as bad as you

Or this one, the tall one
We’re laughing in a meadow
Like two little kids
The grass is still green and it reaches to my knees
And theres wildflowers everywhere
This one was beautiful
We’re holding hands
Now we are making a mess of your library
Pillows, blankets, magazines and books strewn about
Eating cookies and laughing some more
But I never see you again

Or this one, he is mysterious and smart and stiff
We’re making lust at a fancy hotel
I’m tangled in you
I’ve gotta go, I work early in the morning.
He’ll see me again
He’ll write again
Let’s keep in touch
Now there is silence

And this one, he was Daddy.
He was god
And I worshipped him so
I took his Good Book
But I could not follow the rules
As hard as I tried
This little girl couldn’t get it
I took his last straw
And I burned it

And then you’re gone
You’re all gone now

And my memory is bad
So I write about you

The way you held my hand
The way he kissed my forehead
The way this one had to bend over to hug me tight
The way that one held my chin and shoved me away. I loved it.
The way I can’t remember them all anymore

All I wanted
was someone
To push my hair out of my eyes so they can see me