Cross my heart

I reached out to tell him I can do better, I will do better. Cross my heart and hope to die.  
I need rules and direction but I only want his. 

I have gone mad 

I am a beggar but he doesn’t look at me as he passes. I do not exist anymore.

Now this ‘S’ on my chest reminds me that I am an outcast and I don’t get to be apart of him.

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